Sue & Ivy's Journal

Username:	Password:
Forgot your password?	Remember Me

My Brain

Your brain: 100% interpersonal, 80% visual, 80% verbal, and 140% mathematical!

Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy
doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than
average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing
about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers.

Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious:

Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%.
Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%.
Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 73% on interpersonal
You scored higher than 53% on visual
You scored higher than 73% on verbal
You scored higher than 73% on mathematical

Link: The 4-Variable IQ Test written by chriscoyne on OkCupid Free Online Dating

The past 3 weeks
Well, since the mastectomy, I really haven't had the motivation to write due to low energy, etc. But I figure I really should get caught up.

The mastectomy itself wasn't too bad, I don't remember a thing, LOL. But, boy, coming out of the anesthesia was interesting. I was dreaming the whole time I was waking up that I was on the internet and that I had an incredibly fast connection, pages kept flipping on almost faster than I could see them come up. Well, unfortunately, the connection got cut and I had to really wake up. I think I finally got to my room around 4 or 5. The op had started around 7:30 AM and I guess I was in recovery 1:30 or so. I don't remember moving out of the operating room, but I remember stuff after that. The ride to the room was interesting with going through the halls and on the elevator - nothing like feeling like a piece of meat being lugged about. I was not too crazy about having to move off the gurney onto the bed.

Geez, was I hurting! They gave me a button to push for pain medication and I could get more every 6 minutes. It took me a few hours to get straightened out pain wise. Ivy was there to see me a few times, but I really didn't want company. Sue and Kath were there and wanted to see me, but I just didn't want to deal with people. They popped in the room once with flowers and it was just Hi, Bye, I don't want to talk, just let me be. So, Ivy went home with them so that I could rest. It was really nice, though, that she had flowers in my room for me when I got there so it was sorta like when Dr. Suporn and Aoi has flowers for their patients when they wake up from SRS.

They got me out of bed to walk a little about 8PM. I walked to the nurses' station and back. The nurse with me seemed like she expected me to faint or something, but I didn't have any problem with it. I just didn't really want to do it, as moving around was not fun.

Then I had the 12 hours of hell, with nausea and vomiting after the surgery. Not fun. I've never had that sort of reaction to anesthesia before and I just couldn't wait for it to stop. It finally finished about 4 AM. Then I actually felt better and I got up to water the flowers that Ivy and Sue and Kathryn had brought by. One of Dr. Staradub's interns came by right about then to check on me and was surprised to see me up. Well, I needed my lip balm, too, and no one else knew where to find it.

They put me on percoset, off of the iv pain meds, soon after. I started on regular meals and stuff as I was able to eat and drink, no problem, as the nausea was gone. They were ready to send me home on Saturday as I was doing so well, but I just couldn't imagine dealing with a 2 1/2 hour drive home to Maine that day, so I said we'll do it on Sunday.

Ivy and Sue came by on Saturday for a few hours. I was up walking around when they were by. Well, I was getting bored, and uncomfortable just laying around, so I didn't think it was any big deal that I was up. I was happy to leave on Sunday, as I could see there were a number of much sicker people there who really needed a hospital more than me.

The drive home wasn't too bad, except for the bumps on the way up the hill to the house. Ouch!!

I didn't do too much for the next few days, except veg and deal with getting over some really nasty constipation due to the pain meds. Thank god for stool softeners.

I felt good enough to work for a couple of hours on Thursday and Friday. It helps when you can work from your home and still get your email, etc. By Monday, I was working more than taking off, though Thursday was a visit to Boston to my plastic surgeon. He removed my drain (I begged really nice, and, besides, it wasn't draining much) Turns out the drain was blocked anyway and needed to come out. He squished a whole load of fluid out and then pumped in 50 cc's more saline in my tissue expander. He had put in 350 ccs during surgery and wants to fill me to 700ccs.

We went to Carlucci's after the appt and bought all kinds of fancy tea and goodies, including a great sandwich to have for dinner when we got home.

I worked all day Friday, when Sue came up to see us. We were expecting a mega snow storm and really needed her help. Ivy and Sue didn't dig us out until Sunday. Then, the beginning of the week, while I was working, the two of them worked on our truck and Sue's car, and then Sue had to go home. She was such a great help. I've been trying to do what I can do, but I can't lift alot of stuff right now.

I started riding the indoor bike again last Friday and rode 6 miles that day and Saturday. Then I rode again on Tuesday and Thursday and did 7 miles each day. I've been keeping up a pretty good speed - 16-17 mph, but I need to stop every mile or so, as my lungs need to get back in shape. I get a good sweat going, so I figure there is some workout value in it.

Yesterday, I got my Porta-catheter installed. Ouch. I'm still hurting. Back on Percocet. Now I've got two stiff shoulders instead of 1 and can't really do my ROM exercises for the left shoulder too well. Hopefully later today I can get back to those. The biggest pain in the ass right now is that I'm back to not driving as I can't stretch quite enough to comfortably hold the steering wheel.

I guess I'll wait another few days to get back on the bike. I'm hoping I can ride by Wednesday, even though that is chemo day. My onco said I can ride whenever I feel up to it. I'm also trying to work as much as I can as it is something to do and keep my mind off of bad stuff. Plus, it helps to get paid. I don't really get tired working as I can just sit home at my desk and work. They're sending all my stuff from my office to me at home and giving me things I can do via correspondence. I have a few cases to open that I need to do field work for, but they are near by and I figure I will try to schedule field time the third week after chemo for that, and do the office stuff the other two weeks.

Surgery Date is confirmed!!
Just got a call that my surgery will be on 2/25, next Friday, not 2/28 or 3/7 as I was told before. I am SOOO happy. I can't wait to get rid of this parasite (which is what I feel this tumor is), even though I will have to deal with chemo, radiation, and then reconstruction.

Sue

I guess this is sorta accurate

You scored as Verbal/Linguistic. You have highly developed auditory skills, enjoy reading and writing and telling stories, and are good at getting your point across. You learn best by saying and hearing words. People like you include poets, authors, speakers, attorneys, politicians, lecturers and teachers.

</td>

Verbal/Linguistic

93%

Musical/Rhythmic

71%

Intrapersonal

71%

Logical/Mathematical

68%

Visual/Spatial

54%

Interpersonal

50%

Bodily/Kinesthetic

46%

The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences
created with QuizFarm.com

Got date(s)
At this point, I'll have surgery either on Feb 28th or March 7th. It all depends on whether they can juggle some of Dr. T's stuff on 2/28 around.

I guess this is good, either 2 weeks or 3 weeks away. I wish it was this coming Monday.

But the good thing is that the lump seems to actually be getting smaller. Down in Boston, they thought it was more like double the size that the ultrasound had shown (scary!), but I think it got pissed off from the biopsy and swelled up a bit. Also, the fact that I'm off of HRT probably helps, at least its not encouraged by having that stuff around.

The beat part is, of course, the waiting. And, with time passing, as I've been off HRT for about 5 weeks now, the memopause from hell symptoms are coming back. Though, actually, this time, they aren't as bad. The major problems are fatigue and sleep disruptions. At least this time I know about Melatonin and use it for the sleep stuff, and I didn't know about that 20 months ago when I first started HRT. My moods are alot better, too, along with my concentration. The hot flashes still come and go, but aren't quite an issue. Not like back before HRT.

My biggest fear is that I will come down with a cold and they might have to postpone surgery. So, everytime I feel a sniffle or whatever, I grab a Coldeze zinc lozenge and suck on that. It seems to be helping.

Current Mood: nervous

Still waiting for my surgery date
Well, I've had all the rest of the tests that I needed pre-surgery. Bone scan and Chest and ab CTs came back clear - so we know the cancer hasn't spread. Now, I am just waiting for my surgery date. I just want to know when it is so I can plan accordingly. I have to finish my mid-term by Feb 27th, so that is a major consideration. Though, I did let my professors know that I am going to have surgery soon, so they will let me have more time if I need it.

I'm not really so concerned with the mid-term as I am with the rest of the course. I really dread the second half as I will be on chemo the last few weeks of it and have read that your concentration can go out the door with it. Just as long as I can hold it together through the first week in May, I'll be fine.

Its interesting who has gotten back to me about being supportive through this whole deal. There are some who I was sure would be right there who just don't seem to care anymore. Or maybe they just can't deal with it themselves.

Whatever.

Current Mood: impatient

What year I belong in

You Belong in 1968

1968

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Gee, but I'm glad I'm sure not there - I'm much happier with the technological and medical advances we've had since then.

How old I act

You Are 32 Years Old

32

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Another quiz

Your Dominant Intelligence is Logical-Mathematical Intelligence

You are great at finding patterns and relationships between things.
Always curious about how things work, you love to set up experiments.
You need for the world to make sense - and are good at making sense of it.
You have a head for numbers and math ... and you can solve almost any logic puzzle.

You would make a great scientist, engineer, computer programmer, researcher, accountant, or mathematician.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Consult on the 1st
So, Ivy and I went down to Boston on Tuesday, actually going down on Monday to stay over as we had to be at BID at 8:45 on Tues. We met up with Sue and Kath for dinner at a mexican place. They are good friends, but don't seem to realize how much this whole thing will put me back. This isn't a hangnail, FGS. The thing I am not looking forward to the most is the Chemo as I don't know how much I will be affected by it. I just have to wait & see.

So, we saw the patient coordinator first - Sue Cohen - who I'd spoken to a number of times - nice, efficient, but just there for the paperwork. Then we met Judi - who I'll be dealing with the most, it seems. She is an RN who is basically the liason between the patient and the doctor and lets you know what the deal is with everything, like knowing what each doctor will do and when we will talk about it.

The first doc was the onco- we went over the usual stuff, the usual exam, the usual options. Next the surgeon, a woman for a change, though it seems that all the breast surgeons there are female. That is a comfort in itself, as they have a clue. Again, the usual stuff, etc.

At that point, we had a break, as they had to discuss my case. Then we went back to see Judi to see what they had said. It was basically what I had determined with Dr. Erickson, the CMMC onco, that the mastectomy was the way to go. However, they also agreed that I would need radiation after the basic chemo was done. Yuck, I was hoping to avoid that with the mastecomy, but the stupid thing seems to have grown since the biopsy. That could just be from irritation and swelling, though.

Then we went to see the main reason we were down there - Dr. Tobias. Geez, the guy is a hunk. His picture online does him no justice. Chiseled good looks, beautiful brown eyes, obviously works out seriously, and he has a brain! He feels that the best thing to do is to wait for the reconstruction until after I've had the radiation as it could damage the delicate little blood vessels he has to reconnect for the Diep flap. What he'll do, instead, at the time of the mastectomy, is put in an expander, like they do for those who get an implant. Then, it will get filled up bit by bit until it's up to about the size we want (C cup). 6 months after I've completed my radiation, I can get my reconstruction. I figure that will end up being next March. I'm none too happy about having to wait so long, but at least there will be something to balance out the other side while I'm waiting. I was concerned about how the graft would fare with radiation, so that does make me feel better about the ultimate outcome.

We are still stressing emotionally, though. I just want a date, we can plan our lives around that and when I will start chemo.

I have to tell Judi, though, that Dr. T. needs to get a new picture online because it makes him look like a nerd and he sure isn't that in person.

Current Mood: pensive

My Harry Potter alter ego is ...

You scored as Harry Potter. You can be a little reckless and hot-headed at times, but a more brave and courageous friend would be hard to find.

</td>

Harry Potter

95%

Remus Lupin

80%

Severus Snape

75%

Hermione Granger

70%

Albus Dumbledore

65%

Sirius Black

65%

Ginny Weasley

65%

Ron Weasley

50%

Draco Malfoy

45%

Lord Voldemort

35%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

Status check
I'm right in the midst of getting all my info. I've seen a surgeon, plastic surgeon and then, finally, the oncologist up here in Maine. The only one who was really helpful was the oncologist. Of course, that doctor is female and the others are male, I'm not surprised.

She estimates that my stage is IIIA, due to the fact that my tumor appears to be more like 5 cm or a bit more rather than the 3.5 found on the ultrasound. The path report shows infiltrating ductal carcinoma in one of the three samples taken during the biopsy, and all three are Her-2/Neu positive. So, she is inviting me to be part of their clinical trial for Herceptin. I would have a 2/3's chance of getting the Herceptin.

Its alot to absorb. I've decided on a mastectomy due to the size of the tumor and the fact that I just really don't want to deal with having to do that anyway again down the road. I'm going down to Boston next week to consult with doctors at Beth Israel Deaconess as they have a plastic surgeon on staff, Adam Tobias, who does the Diep flap technique for restoration. The plastic surgeons up here in Maine only do the Tram flap or a saline implant, and, from what I have read, those are just unacceptable.

The only bright side to all of this is that I will get a breast reduction and skin only tummy tuck out of the deal. Of course, the payment for all of this is chemo and radiation, and a breast without sensation. But I will be alive, hopefully for a long time.

The beginning of an even bigger roller coaster ride
Hi everyone,

I haven't been posting on my Live Journal much at all since Thailand as there really hasn't been much to say. Life was just rolling along at its usual dull roar and things were going ok.

Until Now.

Life has decided to throw me a gigantic curve. I guess something felt that Ivy and I were getting too used to how things were going, so Major Shit has happened.

In the course of a two week period, I discovered a major lump in my left breast. Actually, it screamed at me to pay attention to it as it decided to create electric shocks in my breast and keep me awake most of the night. Not a good thing. I explored the area and found a significant lump. Now I have always had lumpy breasts, diagnosed as fibrocystic breasts, and they have always been rather dense. In July I had a mamogram and it came back ok. So I figured I was good to go until the next one.

But, no, this stupid thing has decided to grow and then bitch at me big time.

I guess it was good that it did. I called my doctor the next day (a Wednesday) and she had me scheduled for a mamogram and an ultrasound that Friday. At the mamogram and ultrasound, the lump appeared to be 3.5 cm and definiately required a biopsy. I got scheduled for that the next Wednesday (last Wednesday).

My Doctor for the biopsy is Dr. D'Augustine, a general surgeon in the Lewiston area. I looked online to find out about him and found comments on a site for gastric bypasses that he was professional, but caring.

So, Wednesday I went over to the Bennett Breast Care Center at CMMC, with Ivy accompanying me, and was met by Kathy, the nurse practioner there. She was very sweet and kind. She was with me the entire time ('cept when I had to undress, of course). Dr. D'Augustine was exactly as he had been described. I told him you won't have any problem finding the lump and he didn't. He did the usual lidocaine deal to numb the area and then, using ultrasound as a guide, took 3 samples. He said that they would have the results in 24-48 hours. I could feel that he seemed rather uncomfortable, so I figured he had already concluded that the result would probably show cancer. Ivy said that, when he came out of the room, he seemed to have an unhappy expression on his face, so this just confirmed my gut feeling.

I waited for the call, figuring that sooner was probably better, but didn't get called until around 11 Friday (last Friday). Yup, it was cancerous. I went over and discussed the deal with Dr. D and Kathy. I think they were surprised that I didn't break down or anything, but they had not seen Ivy and me earlier in the week at home when we had figured out what the deal already was. After reading online, I'd already decided that I would take the big jump and have a mastectomy. Yup, I decided that even before I knew the result for sure, but I have the gut feeling that it will be the best for me.

At this point, I have an appointment with Dr. Bonowitz, a local plastic surgeon, tomorrow concerning reconstruction immediately after the mastectomy (saline implant inserted under the muscle). Hopefully I'll be able to avoid radiation treatment. I get to see the oncologist on Thursday and then Dr. D again next Wednesday. I have no idea what exact treatment they will suggest, although, since my tumor is estrogen and progesterone sensitive, Tamoxifen is a given for the next 5 years. Dr. D. seems to think that I'll have surgery in less than a month. Actually, the sooner the better for me.

So, This is the way it is right now.

We are going through emotional ups and downs. I think I've come to grips with most of it, although I do get my weepy spells. I think part of that is from stopping HRT last week when we decided that it was probably the best thing to do.

Oh, well, this is just one of those sucky parts of life that we will have to deal with.

Sue

Current Mood: numb

Naughty Candy Heart

Your Candy Heart Is "Kiss Me"

You're a romantic at heart - which is quite sweet

You fall quickly and often for many people you meet.

While you're romantic, you've been know to crawl up with a dirty book

Warning to all: You're not as innocent as you may look.

What Naughty Candy Heart Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

A blast from the Past
I am still dumbfounded - I was fooling around with my Trillian last night trying to get Terri on the Yahoo chat. She could find Ivy easily enough, but she wasn't showing up on my contact list At All.

Well, who should IM me but Andrea!!! Yes, Andrea of Andrea and Goody who we know from LR.

Seems that they are living in South Korea now, for job reasons. They are in Seoul, with their dog. They expect to be there for about 2 years or so. Seems that the job market around the DC area had dried up and I guess Goody had an offer. Andrea was able to find a decent position 1 day after they settled in.

I think prolly a number of people on my friends list know them. If you want to get in contact with them, I have their email and snail mail addresses.

Anyway, Andrea said she lost about 70 pounds on Atkins (she had gained a whole lot of weight just before we last saw her, due to medical problems) Anyway, she must look Wonderful now!!!

We had the usual chat about the lack of American type sizes in Asia, food differences, male chauvinism, etc. encountered in S. Korea.

Funny thing was Ivy was in an IM with Terri at the exact same time and we know that she would get along great with both Andrea and Goody - they have a number of things in common ;)

Unfortunately, they live on opposite sides of the country - darn!!

Now, I'll definitely have to get a phone card for S. Korea, now that I have more people to call there.

My Wings
DragonWings

Your wings are DRAGON wings. Massive and
covered in scales, they shimmer with strength
and magic. They are the most obvious display of
your power - though it runs equally throughout
your heart and mind. You are uncompromising and
grave, with a profound sense of justice. You
have firm ideas about what is right and what is
wrong and set out to fix what problems you can.
You realize that you are more capable of
dealing with life and evil than most, and as
such you see it as your responsibility to
protect those who cannot defend themselves. You
have existed since antiquity and as such you
are wise far beyond your years in this
lifetime. While you strive for fairness and
peace, if someone should steal from your cave
of treasure (though not all that glitters is
gold) or compromise the happiness of you or one
who is close to you - they have signed their
death warrant. You have a mighty vengeance and
will unleash it upon such people immediately
and mercilessly. Arguing with you is
useless...you rarely back down and are known
for holding firm in your beliefs. Sometimes you
feel intensely burdened with the troubles of
others...acting as a Guardian can get so
wearisome. But you never give up...you see it
as your life's mission. Often very introverted,
you can be so smart...it's scary. Such a
combination of intelligence, creativity, power,
beauty, and magic is often intimidating to
those around you - who are also unlikely to
understand you. Arrogant, proud, overserious,
and sometimes a bit greedy or obsessed with
whatever treasure you choose to pursue...you
have enchanted people for centuries, and will
continue to do so.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Armour
This is my second day on Armour Thyroid and I am already feeling much better, despite too late a night out last night due to New Years.

Got to see alot of people I hadn't seen in a long time at a party at Bill and Suu's. Rich from CUFS was there. I hadn't really had a chance to talk to him in a long time due to Renee's existence, but, now that they are divorced, we had the chance.

Wow, for some people divorce can be a great thing. Rich is doing so well, he is off his Asthma and GERD meds and has lost 35 pounds. He actually smiles now and is at peace with himself. He's gotten himself a sailboat that he's had to rehabilitate from top to bottom and seems like he is finally enjoying life again. Far cry from the tormented soul I knew 2 years ago.

saw my doctor yesterday
Well, at least she let me switch over to Armour. I'm still on the Wellbutrin, though I didn't have the cardiac side effects yesterday. Woke up this morning and felt like total shit. Hope taking 75 mcg synth will help. I start the Armour tomorrow as the pharmacy didn't have the low dose I am starting on in stock.

I don't think my doctor thinks the change in meds will make any difference, but I know how I feel and I know I am sinking back into hypo and it sucks. Oh, and one of her nurses had gone to poopy head endo and he screwed her up, too. He wouldn't listen to her and she eventually fired him. Turns out about 6 months later they found she had a really nasty thyroid cancer, wrapped around the muscles and things. She totally agreed with me that he is an A--hole.

I hate feeling like this. I have no energy for anything, no enthusiasm. Plus, I went and bruised up my left foot yesterday watering the plants at the office. All I needed. Didn't tell Ivy about that as she would be upset. Its just a minor inconvenience, anyway.